Psalm 139:15-16 says: My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.

God ordained our time on earth before we were born. Our days are in His hands. These verses comforted us as we met with the oncologist and heard that there were few options for treatment. Steve chose not to go the route of experimental treatment since it would mean two weeks in the hospital with massive chemo several different times with no guarantee of success. He has a heart problem, and the oncologist said he might not even be a candidate for massive chemo.  Steve decided no more tests, no more doctors. The oncologist gave him four to six months to live. But…all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. The Lord has graciously given Steve more time than the oncologist said. We are currently in the eighth month of Steve’s illness.

So many difficult milestones in February as Steve grew weaker…his last Sunday in choir, his last day on the Sweat team…our last Sunday in an entire church service.  First Thessalonians 5:18 says to give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. To quote Jerry Bridges again: “He (God) knows before He initiates or permits the adversity exactly how He will use it for our good.” Steve and I thank God constantly, not for the cancer, but for the good that He will bring about through our circumstances.

Throughout the illness, Steve has kept his sense of humor. About his weight loss he says, “That’s to make it easier on the pall bearers.” When people tell him he’s looking good his comment is, “Yeah, from the neck up.” We don’t skirt the issue of dying. We talk about heaven often. As Steve says, “It’s a win-win for Christians,” and “I get to go sing in the big choir.” Having a terminal illness causes you to focus on your eternal home, and that’s a great thing.

In the next post I want to share some of the incredible ways our church family has blessed us during these past months.